crazy, over-emotional mom moment

So, I'm the first to admit I've been a tad over-emotional and crazy the past few weeks relating to Connor's potty training, or lack thereof.

For the most part, potty training has been going really, really well. Connor rarely has accidents with #1, is dry many mornings and as soon as he's 'aware' in the mornings (takes about 15 minutes) he knows he needs to go. This is great, we're super proud of him. #2 on the other hand, not going so well. Not going at all, actually, except in his underwear. This results in me washing 2-5 pairs of underwear a day (so no, Connor wasn't kidding in his holiday letter this year) which gets VERY old, day after day after day. Enter the fact that his stools (okay warning, this post is mostly about poop...so it's your own fault if you continue reading) are pretty soft and lately, sandy. To the point that it's hard to get off and causes him incredible pain when cleaning him up. He even knows to say 'gently mom, gently'. Poor guy.

So add all this to his condition at birth, Hirschprung's Disease (HD) and you get me on google, nearly every night, trying to find some answers, advice, anything that will help.

The craziness probably peaked the other night when I was crying, even had my mom crying. My google searches led me to sites/forums about children with sandy stools needing to eat gluten-free diets for the rest of their lives. No, this would not be the end of the world and things could be much worse, but seriously, when you get right down to it, what a pain. One search landed me on a toddler autism site. I'm telling you, it was a bad night.

Google also brought me to HD sites that tell me to basically expect toilet training to take longer, kids with HD might take a little longer to fully understand/recognize the sensation/signs of needing to go. Then of course I'm thinking he'll be like 5 or 6 and still having issues and you can about imagine the nick names he'd have. Plus the thought of having to clean this many pairs of underwear out everyday for the next 2-3 years..ugh.

Then I had to give daycare all of the details, which I guess I kind of just assumed they all knew (about his HD), but I don't know why they would know, plus we haven't really had any reason to feel the need to tell people. He's fine. But, telling daycare and them wanting their staff to be aware (which, is completely a good thing, I'm glad they asked) brought on more craziness and tears, I don't want my son treated differently, treated like he has an issue, made to feel bad about anything. It just makes my heart break to think of that. Yes, overreacting. First to admit.

I finally just called and left a message at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis with the surgeon's office. He called back today, he as in Connor's actual surgeon that performed his pull-through operation (if for any reason this is sparking your curiosity, just click back in the archives to April of 08 since I conveniently probably blogged every minute of this experience). First let me say how I love Children's. The entire time we were there when Connor was born they make family the priority, always make sure the doctors are available to talk to you when you're there and make you truly feel like they care. Every clinic/hospital should feel like that, but that place is amazing. So, to be honest, I would have NEVER expected the surgeon to call back. I'd have been happy just getting a call from a nurse, etc., and this is probably normal, but I'm sure he has better things to do than to calm down a crazy mom. Which, is basically what he did. In much, much, much nicer words he told me I was crazy. Nothing I told him made him think Connor is having any issues related to HD or his surgery, by no means thought he needed to see him (however of course offered, just in case he thought I was REALLY crazy) and somewhat basically said he's not even sure I need Connor to see anyone right now. He's 2.5, seems a little early to be expecting him to be fully potty trained, expect kids with HD and cases like Connor's to go through life without any bowel problems. So needless to say, I feel much, much better. Still tiny bit of concern there, but, it's better.

So yes, I'm blaming some of my craziness on google. The rest we'll chalk up to the fact that we're first time parents and really have no idea what we're doing :) But, it's on our Christmas list that he figures it out and starts going poop in the potty, hope you're reading this, Santa.


Anonymous said...

WE are having the same problem in our house as well.... Keegan refuses to do #2 on the potty, only in his underwear. I am so behind on laundry now it isn't even funny!! I am thinking of just buying a ton of underwear and just throwing the dirty ones!! ;)
Heather Hulke

bryan, christy and connor said...

Ah Heather, thank you! Ha, even tho it's a bummer you're going thru it too, pretty relieving to hear there are other kiddos out there causing their mother's anxiety over the issue :)

Erin Barrett said...

I banned myself long ago from googling or "web md'ing" my medical questions. I'm pretty sure I diagnosed myself with at least 3 brain tumors.

Con-diggity will get it down in no time!

Erin C said...

Hey! I like your post... because we have the SAME issue! Poop is always in the underwear! If it's really bad I throw them... which makes Cole sad since he likes certain ones, but hasn't made him want to poop in the pot any more like I had hoped. HA. I have heard the same... poop sometimes comes later, like 3 or later! We are still working on the pee too so you are doing well! Good luck.